THE APOLOGY

IT'S GOOD TO SAY "I'M SORRY"

The act of apologizing after hurting someone has distinct and important consequences, according to research summarized in the book "The Power of Apology" (John Wile & Sons) by marriage and family therapist Beverly Engle. Hearing an apology from the perpetrator of a wrong lowers the blood pressure of the wronged person and often facilitates the experience of an emotional healing. By making an apology, the perpetrator can relinquish guilt feelings and begin a process of rehabilitation.

An apology also helps the wronged person reach a state of forgiveness, so necessary to health and feelings of well-being. One study, for example, showed that when the perpetrator apologizes, it makes it possible for the victim to experience empathy for the perpetrator. The victim's feelings of empathy for the perpetrator is crucial to the victim's ability to forgive and move on.